Love and Logic

2.9.10

If you look very closely at Trey's feet, you will notice he is emerging from Preschool without his shoes. You might be asking, "Why is Trey shoe-less? What kind of mother are you?!"

My friend Jessyka signed up for a Love and Logic class with her husband and invited Justin and I to join her. Justin and I have listened to the Love and Logic books on CD and have had great success. It was neat to actually take the 6 week class, with Justin, while the boys played in a little daycare classroom next to the classroom we were in. The daycare sitters were teachers from the local schools. The class had a lot of discussion, lecture and some video which was the greatest part in Justin and my eyes. One of the doctors who developed Love and Logic was so funny to watch on video.

In Love and Logic, the theory is making the child accountable for their actions and choices NOW, so when they become teenagers and young adults, they will hopefully make right choices to avoid bad consequences.

One of the hardest things for Trey is to stay on task. To get Trey dressed in the morning is an all morning battle. There are no tears, no crying, but constant nagging. Well, the night before this specific day of preschool, we talked in class about morning routines, the choices the children can make and the consequences they could receive. I had told Trey that morning that his clothes were out and he needed to get dressed before we left for school. If he didn't get dressed in time, he would have to get dressed in the car on the way to school. In Love and Logic, you tell them once, and then hope and pray they mess up so you can deliver what you had promised would be the consequence. It should only take once for them to learn you mean business and you will follow through with your promise.

Well, I told Trey once about getting ready and then I also reminded him once about getting ready. (I know, I broke the Love and Logic rule about reminders, but I just slipped!) It was time to go and he still wasn't dress; he stood in his underwear and under shirt as I told him it was time to go and he would have to get ready in the car. I purposefully opened our garage door before he walked out to the car, in hopes some neighbor would be walking by, see him in all of his underwear glory, and he would become so embarrassed. (I know, I am so mean) Luckily, there was a high school student walking by on the way to school. Trey was mortified.

As Trey was crying on the way to school, I called Miss Des, his teacher and said, "We are trying this Love and Logic approach. Trey was supposed to get dressed and decided to get dressed on the way to school. He might be a little late and he also might be without his shoes. " I didn't know what Miss Des' response would be, but I really didn't care. What she said floored me with surprise. She said, "You are one smart mom to be starting at this young age. In fact, I got my 4th grader fully dressed with shoes on and tied while she slept in her bed just this morning!" Oh, I don't want to have to do that.

So, Trey was a little late, and in the chaos of dressing while in the car, he failed to look on the floor where his shoes laid, waiting to be put on. He didn't seem to mind going without his shoes as he ran into preschool.

Needless to say, we haven't had too many problems with him getting dressed. I give him the choice, to dress at home or in the car. He quickly chooses to dress in our home!